老友記的經典搞笑臺詞

每一次看完《老友記》後，都會有這樣一些場景和臺詞在我的腦海中揮之不去。以下是本站小編為大家準備的老友記的經典搞笑臺詞，希望大家喜歡!

老友記的經典搞笑臺詞(一)

1、Monica: Live together? There have been no signs for that.

“住在一起?可是並沒有什麼預兆呀?”

Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.

“那就讓我的請求作為一種徵兆吧。”

2、Chandler: I love you!

“我愛你”。

Monica: I love you!

“我也愛你。”

Chandler: Are you hugging the door right now.

“你現在在緊貼著門說話嗎?”

(Pause)

Monica: No.

“沒有。”

Chandler: Yeah-yeah, me neither.

“咳、咳……我也沒有。” 錢德勒好可愛呀。

3、Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if you’re gonna be moving in with him I feel it’s my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? He’s a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm… Oh-oh he always, he always umm—Oh, who am I kidding! He’s the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)

“如果你真打算和他一起住，你得清楚這意味著什麼。他這個室友差勁極了，他老忘了……嗯，他總是，他總是……得了吧，他是全世界最好的室友。”

4、Ross: I’ve known you both a long time, and I’ve never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as you’ve been since you’ve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?

“我認識你們這麼久，你們在一起後生活比以前幸福了一百萬倍。而現在，你們要為一件破房子的安置把這種幸福拋之腦後嗎?這太蠢了。什麼在你生命中是最重要的，是愛情還是愚蠢?”

5、Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!

Chandler: Uh, yeah.

(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)

錢德勒要搬走了，喬伊才知道電費有多貴，喬伊就像個特別單純的小孩，需要人照顧，能認識兄長般的錢德勒，是他最大的幸運。

6、Joey: Well, what’s it called?

Chandler: Cups.

錢德勒為了給喬伊一些錢又不傷他自尊，創造了一個全新的cups遊戲。(規則以反拖拉機為基礎，準則是喬伊有什麼牌，什麼牌就是大的)

7、Ross: Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science. Uh, they don't like it when you correct their grammar.

Chandler: And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.

Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.

羅斯和錢德勒傳授給喬伊的“拒妞大法”，包括談論科學，糾正語法，反覆問對方愛不愛你，詳細解釋自己的笑話為什麼好笑，當然，錢德勒那句“Ba dum bumb cheshhh!”更為經典。女人緣稍差的兄弟們，看好了，不過要記得反其道而行之，比如談論文學，混淆語法，絕對不說我愛你，詳細解釋自己的笑話為什麼無聊，做到這些，你就可以跟我一樣光棍一輩子了。

8、Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun.

菲比真的是自然率性的典範，絲毫不在乎外人的眼光，跑起來像青蛙，是因為這是她自己唯一覺得有趣的跑法，就像這樣怪里怪氣的做人，可能是她唯一覺得有趣的活法吧。後來瑞秋也這麼跑，則不是源於個性，而是對朋友的肯定和支援了。

9、Monica: Mmmm!

瑞秋在感恩節做了個無比難吃的怪東西，大家為了怕傷她的心，都極力做出很享受的樣子。

10、Monica: 5 6 7 8!

莫尼卡和羅斯兄妹的超炫組舞，個人覺得很具有觀賞性。也凸現了這對從小打到大的娃娃幸福的一面，那裡有相同的回憶，成長的印記。

11、Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!

喬伊的午夜之吻計劃被導演打斷，情不自禁大聲吼了出來。情聖不愧是情聖，以下是此事相關對白：

“那一刻，你的紅脣對我是不可抵擋的誘惑。”

“那一刻，我也有要吻你的衝動。”

“我那心跳的感覺持續到現在還揮散不去，3，2，1。”

“你不必每次吻我都倒數計時。”

“不，我只是需要一點時間找回呼吸。”

12、Chandler: I don’t wanna know what Monica got me. Y’know? I mean, look, I’m sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me，I wanna see the look on Monica’s face when I give her my present, and I’m sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine.

“我不在乎自己的禮物是否比莫尼卡的更好，我知道莫尼卡一定在這方面花了很多心思。當我送她禮物時，我最期待的是她那驚喜而幸福的表情，我想，她送我禮物時也一樣。所以，千萬千萬不要再找她的禮物了好嗎?實實在在的愛與驚喜就是最好的禮物，這才是感恩節的真諦。”

13、Chandler: Look at us, we’re a couple of couples!

喬伊帶辣妹室友跟錢德勒夫婦共進晚餐，錢德勒管他們四人叫做一對一對。錢德勒給喬伊錢付帳，買好酒裝做是喬伊買的，可惜辣妹不喜歡這對慷慨的夫婦，喬伊只好忍痛重義輕色了。

14、Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?

喬伊窮得停了有線，斷了電話，錢德勒很誠懇地要幫他。

說來慚愧，畢業以後，小可一直十分窘迫，在此謝謝幫助過我的那些錢德勒，並期待自己的big break，來回報大夥兒。

15、Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.

Monic

老友記的經典搞笑臺詞(二)

1、Chandler: All right, there’s a nuclear holocaust, I’m the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?

“如果核爆炸，世界上只剩我一個男人，你會愛我嗎?”

錢德勒不停地問莫尼卡會不會愛他，答案都是否定的。你能想象幾年後他們有那麼幸福嗎?

2、Joey: That’s right I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I’d pee on anyone of you!

喬伊白痴而感人的宣言：“如果你們需要，我可以在你們任何人身上尿尿。”

3、Ross: I didn’t know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn’t finish the whole letter!

羅斯真的有些小氣，作為男生承擔這些責任又怎麼了?過去聽他講“on the break”覺得好玩，現在越來越覺得這時的他可恨了。

4、Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer.

聚會上人們都喜歡吃莫尼卡做的東西，蓋勒夫人終於承認了自己的女兒，說下次再也不會準備備用食物了。

5、Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"

錢德勒跑過好幾條街，跌倒了無數次，只是為了跟女孩子說一句“hey”。可惜她是喬伊的女友，雖然她跟錢德勒更合適。

還是喜歡做一個會氣喘吁吁的說“真巧”的男孩，不管我有多老，追著喜歡的女孩跑，永遠是最美的心跳牽動的心跳。

6、Chandler: That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!

錢德勒說出對喬伊女友的真實感受：“從見到她的第一眼開始，我就不可救藥的愛上了她，我瘋了似的思念她，夢寐以求有她相伴左右。每一天每一小時每一分鐘的每一秒裡我都在痛恨自己為什麼不能比你早認識她。”

7、Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.

錢德勒跑了許多家書店，問了許多書商，又給原作者的後人打了許多電話，才買到了很稀有的書作為生日禮物，但喬伊只買了一支能看時間的筆，所以，錢德勒只好跟喬伊互換了禮物。 越來越愛錢德勒!

8、Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just would've just stepped aside.

錢德勒如果早跟喬伊坦白自己對喬伊女友的感受，情況會好得多。

或者說，羅斯早跟錢德勒說這些話，情況就會好得多。

9、Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!

“我們家被搶劫的時候，我被關在櫥子裡，整整六個小時，我都在想我會害你多難過。”

10、Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!

莫尼卡因為先後和理查父子約會受到指責，然後憤怒的揭短。是呀，六人中沒有一個的人生完美，但他們都在快樂的生活;沒有一個沒犯過錯，但他們都是最善良的。

11、Rachel: Don’t say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we… were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!

瑞秋讓人動情的一刻：“不要說我沒有人情味兒。這是我們第一次一起看電影的票根，這是你第一次為我做早餐時剩的蛋殼，這是我們第一次約會時從博物館拿的化石。我可能會把你們送的禮物退掉，但我會保留所有我認為值得珍藏的東西。”

12、KATHY: you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm… Listen I don’t wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can’t stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don’t wanna be the cause of that. So, I don’t think we can see each other anymore. I’m gonna go to my mom’s in Chicago, I’m gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could’ve be something really amazing, but y’know this is probably for the best. Y’know? I’m gonna miss you. Good-bye

凱茜對箱子裡的錢德勒所說的話：“你現在不能說話也好，這樣我們的離別也不必那麼難受。我不想做影響你們兄弟感情的女人，我沒法眼睜睜的看著你們為了我互不理睬。所以我覺得我們還是不要再見面了，我會去芝加哥我媽那調整一段時間。我知道我們在一起會有多麼幸福，但現在來看，分開才是最好的結局。你能理解嗎?我會想你的。親愛的再見。”

13、Phoebe: Yeah. That’s what you really want. Yeah, I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy.

菲比放棄了和莫尼卡的餐車，支援她去做大廚。因為那是莫尼卡真正想做的，委屈莫尼卡就是委屈她自己，菲比不想委屈自己……

14、Phoebe Sr: I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life.

菲比的媽媽對她說：我拋棄過兩個孩子，我多希望當時有人能告訴我這是多麼糟糕的事情，這使得我以後的日子每一天都在無盡的悔恨中度過。

15、Monica: 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, …7..…7…7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7…(mouths 7)!

無話不談的老友，錢德勒的女友當晚跑過來跟莫尼卡致謝。

16、Ross: I’m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I’m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he’ll sit with me.

羅斯為了好朋友喬伊，在博物館的午餐桌上發起了反對階級歧視運動。

17、Phoebe: No, I’m really okay with this. Y’know why? ‘Cause look at them, and I made that, so… I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it’s gonna feel like a million times better, right?

菲比決定為弟弟和弟妹生孩子。雖然放棄孩子時會有十萬分的難過，但看到弟弟弟妹高興的樣子，也會有十萬分的幸福。全世界最偉大的姐姐。

18、Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I’m-I’m playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!

Chandler: Well, you can understand, given how we started.

凱茜對錢德勒說你怎麼能覺得我背叛你呢?錢德說那我們又是怎麼開始的?

難以置信聰明、善良的錢德勒會說出這麼傷人的話。永遠不要揭愛人的傷疤，尤其是這傷疤是為你而結。

19、Joey: Well, suppose until the baby’s born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you’d just be eating my animals.

菲比懷孕後很想吃肉，但素食主義的她很在意殺生。食肉狂人喬伊為了讓她心安，自動戒肉直到小孩子出世，把吃肉的機會讓給了好朋友。

20、Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica’s photo albums, I mean you don’t do that if you’re just in it for two weeks.

這個女孩花整晚時間跟你的朋友聊天，問你以前的事兒，要你的影集看，你覺得這是一段短暫情緣的表現嗎?

21、Rachel: It’s okay. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way you’d thought they would.

有時候，生活不像你想象中那麼美好。

得悉羅斯要結婚，可憐的瑞秋，她總覺得他們可以分分合合，可一旦沒有了合的可能，她才感覺到對方的重要。

22、Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?

購物能減輕你對羅斯的思念嗎?

Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.

美國的店鋪顯然不夠多。

23、Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?

“羅斯，你什麼時候開始籌備的這場婚禮?”

Ross: I don’t know. A month?

“記不清了，一個多月前吧。”

Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That’s what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, w. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.

“女孩子在五歲的時候就開始幻想她的婚禮了，她們要最完美的婚禮，最理想的地方，更重要的，她們想要一個真正懂得這場儀式對她有多大意義的人來託付終身。”

24、Rachel: Y’know what? No. It’s not over until someone says, "I do."

在他們正式結婚以前，我是不會放棄的。

25、Minister: Take thee, Emily...

Ross: Take thee, Rachel...